I have freelanced for the better part of a decade now, picking up jobs here and there that I knew I could do a great job with. They were low risk, moderately paying gigs that paid a bill when I needed them too. It was just enough of a taste of the life to satisfy something deep inside me, but I certainly wouldn't starve if I didn't pick up a job.
You know that one super scary board on your video game, where you think that if you just hang in the corner and snipe, you'll clear all the enemies out and can travel freely? Yeah, that never works. Ever. And stop trying it on every video game, too ... if you couldn't do it in Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, you can't fucking do it in Arkham Knight. That last sentence was for somebody other than me, probably.
After being stuck in the corner, wasting ammo and screaming into the void about needing "a chance" to succeed, you see that the only way to move forward is to go down. You have to take fire, to learn how to parry. The wounds will heal. You will get smarter.
But if you stay perched in that nest, with a great view and finite resources, it's only a matter of time before they come for you.